Dear Mamba,
I know you like to think the best of people. I know you like to give people the benefit of the doubt that when they say they are going to do something, they will actually do it. Sometimes I think it’s sweet that you have such a naive view of people and never want to think they will do you wrong, even if they may have done you wrong in the past. Many times. When they apologize and say they won’t do it again and that they’ll show you they really aren’t the bad person you think they are, I know it tears at your heart strings. And so you forgive them, once again, and you believe them, once again, all the while knowing in your gut that there is an enormous possibility that you will, once again, be disappointed in them and their actions. I also know that the one thing you hate the most in life is to be disappointed. So I ask you, why is it that you continually put yourself in the position of being disappointed? Why is it that you continue to believe the lies promises as if they will somehow magically mean something now even though they have not meant anything in the past? Do you think the truth fairy waved a wand and sprinkled some dust and made it all better? You know that’s not how it works.
Normally I stand by and watch you as you do this to yourself over and over again, hoping that one of these times you will learn your lesson. I can’t stay quiet anymore, though, because you just don’t seem to be getting it. So I’m begging you. Tomorrow when you do what you need to do, please go in there expecting to be disappointed. Just go there hoping for the worst. Be one with the disenchantment. Expect the expected and not the unexpected. Don’t let what you find bother you. Just keep your head held high, get in there, do your thing, and get out. Keep your eyes open; do not let your attention get diverted away from the task at hand. Do not let any of this plague you anymore. Do not let him upset you any longer because you know that the only thing he’s offered you is a charade, and charades are not real. Don’t let yourself feel sad anymore. Move on, and move on strong. Don’t look back. Don’t cry. I promise that there is a world free from disappointment waiting for you on the other side of this mountain; you just need to get over the summit. I’ll be there with you the whole way, just like always.
Love, Mamba
“Disappointments are to the soul what the thunder-storm is to the air.” ~Friedrich von Schiller
