Archive for the 'Made Me Laugh' Category
I was recently in Rhode Island for a friend’s wedding. Having never been to Rhode Island before, I was amazed at how beautiful it was. So beautiful, in fact, that I ended up extending my weekend by an extra two days just to soak up as much of it as possible. It was a fantastic weekend, filled with great times and great laughs.
One of the first laughs of the weekend (and possibly by far the best laugh) came on Friday night at the rehearsal dinner. The restaurant where the dinner took place was situated right on the water where hundreds of sailboats were docked. It was a very large restaurant, with an upstairs deck and a downstairs seating area. Behind the seating area downstairs were picnic tables, firepits, and even a stage. After a round of drinks or two, a bunch of my friends and I took a walk downstairs to check out the scenery. We were down there about 10 minutes when we were told to take our seats upstairs as dinner was about to be served.
As we walked toward the wooden staircase, we noticed about 15 restaurant staff members lined up to go upstairs. They started clapping loudly, and it was obvious that they were heading upstairs to embarrass some poor soul by surrounding their table clapping as loud as possible and singing some dorky ass version of “Happy Birthday.” (If you can’t tell by my tone, I HATE when this happens in restaurants. Especially to me.) As the staff members began to make their way up the stairs, the girl in the front of the line totally tripped up the stairs and disappeared amongst the sea of black shirts behind her. Everyone started laughing since, come on, it’s pretty fucking funny when someone falls. What my friends and I didn’t see at first however, until the poor girl stood up and turned around, was that she had been carrying a large chocolate cake up those stairs, and when she fell, she fell FACE FIRST into the chocolate cake. She had chocolate icing all over her face and down her shirt. Her coworkers erupted in even louder hysterics and everyone within earshot turned around to see Chocolate Face. It was hysterical. I’m not sure if it’s one of those “had to be there moments” – maybe it is, but for shit’s sake I know that I was sitting in a restaurant and noticed that the fucking waiters were coming over to sing me Happy Birthday so everyone else can hear, it would make my fucking day to see one of them bite it and faceplant into what was supposed to be my dessert. Awesome.
Ok, so I’m done high-fiving myself. For now. My blog vacation is over. It wasn’t as relaxing as I had hoped but I did manage to get totally addicted to Twitter. Go figure.
What have I been doing? Well, let me just tell you about today.
I met Michael Phelps. (There’s more!) Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the details of my encounter just yet. I’ll explain why later. For now all I have to say is that he seriously looks like Eli Manning. HOT!
My annual family Christmas party is on Saturday. This is like, my favorite day of the year. Seriously. My family is awesome, and there is never a dull moment. We talk loud, laugh loud, eats loads, and drink even more. I learn something new about my family each time I see them, and this is not at all meant in a bad way. Anyway, each year we do a “grab bag.” Basically we buy a $25 unisex gift and pick numbers to see who opens the first gift. After the first person opens their choice, the next person can either steal the gift the first person opened or unwrap a new gift of their choice. And so on, and so on. The higher your number, the more choices you have. If you haven’t been able to follow the rules so far, go here for a better description and GET WITH THE PROGRAM!
Last year someone put a carbon monoxide detector in the pile, WTF? The best part is that one of my cousins actually needed that, so he stole it from my aunt! Lucky her!! Welcome to my family.
I picked up my present for this year’s Secret Santa today and when I tell you there is a great story attached I am making an understatement. Apparently people think I should be keeping this gift for myself, but I’m not really sure. Unfortunately I can’t give you any details because it may ruin it for certain people that read this blog that are also in the grab bag. So, sorry to be so hazy but I do promise to explain. On Sunday. After the grab bag is over.
In order to make up for my vagueness, I wanted to share this with you:
This is just today, people. AND I upgraded Wordpress to 2.7, AND totally fucked it up, AND fixed it. BY MYSELF. All by myself mang!
Back. With a vengeance.
OK, so this isn’t a “serious” music byte. It’s more like the next YouTube Sensation!! I recently saw this on Katy Perry’s blog, and wouldn’t you know that there are tons more videos just like this? I mean, Gem Sweater? Holy cow. My mom totally had a collection of Gem Sweaters which she would try her damndest to hand down to me. I can’t tell you how many conversations went like this:
Mom: “But there’s nothing wrong with these gem sweaters!!!”
Mamba: “Yea, except they are totally fugly!”
Mom: “You’re so unappreciative!”
I wonder if she would feel the same if I asked her to take them back after all these years. Probably not.
I’ve embedded this particular video just so you can have a bit of an introduction. Please feel free to browse the archives of her YouTube channel for more goodies.
I think I just may have found my Halloween costume for next year.
Oh, and I think I’ve found a serious contender for Blurb’s “Biggest Glasses” Champion. Leslie’s even got variety.
I saw this standing on the taxi line in front of Penn Station this afternoon:
It’s an ad for Fox News, with the tagline: “The Only FAIR & BALANCED News Network.”
Seriously? Even more amazing, the actually believe their own bullshit.
The sweet spot is about 2:40 in, but it is definitely worth watching the entire video. You’ll know what’s coming after poor, poor Scarlet puts on those shoes. Why she thought it was a good idea is beyond me, but I thank her dearly for the mistake.
Ouch. You know you’ve been there.
Thanks to Miss G for sharing!
UPDATE: I realized the original video had been taken down by the user, so I found this condensed version. Although in my opinion the longer buildup is funnier, but I think you’ll find this almost as funny.
