Mr. Supersexy Brad Pitt was on Oprah today to promote his new flick, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. His co-star, Cate Blanchett, was also there. The movie actually looks pretty decent, but since it doesn’t come out until Christmas (which means I can’t illegally download it until at least February), I’ll probably forget about it by then. Regardless, I’ll never pass up a chance to look at Brad Pitt in HD. He’s beautiful.
The only problem was…
SNOOZE-FEST!!!!
How BORING?!? What happened to the edgy, hard-ass, Fight Club Brad Pitt? This guy was totally lame. He couldn’t even name a favorite food of his, saying something like, “I’m liking the Indian.” Or some shit. And while I guess I can see where he could get a little creeped out by the question the following fan asked, he shouldn’t be too surprised that she’s seen a photo of his forearm, seeing as he’s pictured weekly in every tabloid magazine ever. I mean, it’s cool to talk about picking hot dogs out of your kids’ vomit, but you don’t want to say anything about a tattoo on your arm? Really?
Don’t get me wrong. It’s Brad Pitt. He’s a legend. Hottest.Dude.Ever. But he’s all into his family and kids and friggin’ Angelina and for whatever reason it bored me to tears. And Ms. Cate wasn’t picking up any of the slack. Lame show. So whatever, Brad, I’m over you.
OK, ok, I know. A month goes by with no blog posts. The only thing that’s been updating on this site for the last month are my Tweets. All 1.7 of you are extremely disappointed. I’m sorry. I’ll be a better blogger starting…..now!
…Or maybe tomorrow. There’s some really good TVon tonight.
If you’re thinking that I’ve just been lazy about blogging rather than just being busy and not having any time, I am here to tell you that you’re probably rightWRONG! Here are some things I’ve been doing instead of blogging:
2. Going back to the scene of the crime by heading to the preseason Giants vs. Jets game at Giants Stadium. This will also follow with a blog post, but for now let’s just say that once I sat in the sun drinking beers for a couple of hours, any worry or nervousness I had about getting arrested for trespassing melted right away. See?
3. Spending a ridiculous amount of money lot of time in a veterinarian office for a cat with an injured paw. I won’t bore you all with the details by following this one up with a blog post, but I have to tell you, watching your cat come off anesthesia while trying to figure out how to walk with a bandaged paw and see around the satellite collar offers hours of entertainment. Can’t you just imagine?
4. Going to see the staggeringly funny Broadway musical Avenue Q. I can’t remember the last time I laughed continuously for two and a half hours, and I feel so much closer to my mother now that I’ve sat next to her as we watch muppets have fucking nasty ass sex on stage. There’s nothing more liberating, let me tell you.
5. Eating at Carmine’s, Blue Smoke, Roy’s, and the Chip Shop. I don’t usually eat out this much, and my ass is starting to remind me of that fact. Time to get back on the Wii Fit.
(Chip Shop)
6. Buying the awesomely huge mug you see below as a souvenir. It seriously fits an entire 12-cup pot of coffee in it. My mornings have not been quite the same since.
8. Exploring new music genres by going to the record release party of Brooklyn Academy’s “Bored of Education.”I had a great time, thanks mostly to the Sparks girls for feeding me free cans all night long. They even gave me slap bracelets! Hello? How sweet is THAT?!?
9. Getting the most out of the last couple of weeks of beautiful weather by sitting in McCarren Park watching the neighborhood do the same. Check out the awesome Great Dane I always see chillin’ with his dad:
10. Sitting on my couch for 36 hours this weekend watching nothing but the Palladia channel, which apparently is a new HD channel that plays nothing but live music from festivals both old and recent. It’s like how MTV used to be, when all they played was videos and you never wanted to change the channel for fear that you might miss whatever might be playing next. Except this is in HD and it’s live AND they only play a commercial like once every 30 minutes and it’s a 1 minute ad for the Christian Children’s Fund. This channel is hypnotizing, and as a bonus I’m burning off some of the calories from #5 by dancing in my apartment living room.
As you can see I’ve been kinda super busy which is why I haven’t blogged in a month, but I know there’s no excuse. So to make it up to all of you I thought I’d share a little taste of what happens to Mamba after a few too many glasses of wine. In this clip I’ve been trying to take four quick pictures in a row and “vogue” in a different position for each, but apparently this time I clicked the button for “video” instead. Do not ask any questions. I do not know why I wanted to do this. Remember what I told you about the wine. And enjoy:
On Saturday mornings I like to wake up early and take a walk to the muffin store down the street to get the coffee. There are about seventy-four coffee shops in my neighborhood, and for some reason this particular one is my favorite. Maybe it’s because it’s not technically a “coffee shop.” It doesn’t matter. Let’s move on.
On one of said mornings I took notice of a sign outside a recently opened bar. Check it out:
Sweet, right!?! I’m always down for free pizza. I snapped a picture so I wouldn’t forget, and walked on to the muffin store.
On my way home, as I was passing the bar-with-the-free-pizza I took a better look at the place, and noticed that they were wise enough to paint not one, but BOTH sides of the sign with their wonderful gimmick.
Something was amiss, however. Observe:
Need a better look? Can’t see the difference yet?? Here you go:
Now, come on. This kind of shit pisses me off. “Purches?” Who painted these freakin’ things? I mean, seriously!? Fucking spell check! HOW HARD IS IT PEOPLE?
These signs have since been replaced with nice new railings, and no longer is there evidence of the spelling crime. The first time I noticed they were no longer there I thought to myself, “Thank god those signs are gone! Now no one else will remember that they serve FREE PIZZA with drink purches purchase.”
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