I was recently in Rhode Island for a friend’s wedding. Having never been to Rhode Island before, I was amazed at how beautiful it was. So beautiful, in fact, that I ended up extending my weekend by an extra two days just to soak up as much of it as possible. It was a fantastic weekend, filled with great times and great laughs.
One of the first laughs of the weekend (and possibly by far the best laugh) came on Friday night at the rehearsal dinner. The restaurant where the dinner took place was situated right on the water where hundreds of sailboats were docked. It was a very large restaurant, with an upstairs deck and a downstairs seating area. Behind the seating area downstairs were picnic tables, firepits, and even a stage. After a round of drinks or two, a bunch of my friends and I took a walk downstairs to check out the scenery. We were down there about 10 minutes when we were told to take our seats upstairs as dinner was about to be served.
As we walked toward the wooden staircase, we noticed about 15 restaurant staff members lined up to go upstairs. They started clapping loudly, and it was obvious that they were heading upstairs to embarrass some poor soul by surrounding their table clapping as loud as possible and singing some dorky ass version of “Happy Birthday.” (If you can’t tell by my tone, I HATE when this happens in restaurants. Especially to me.) As the staff members began to make their way up the stairs, the girl in the front of the line totally tripped up the stairs and disappeared amongst the sea of black shirts behind her. Everyone started laughing since, come on, it’s pretty fucking funny when someone falls. What my friends and I didn’t see at first however, until the poor girl stood up and turned around, was that she had been carrying a large chocolate cake up those stairs, and when she fell, she fell FACE FIRST into the chocolate cake. She had chocolate icing all over her face and down her shirt. Her coworkers erupted in even louder hysterics and everyone within earshot turned around to see Chocolate Face. It was hysterical. I’m not sure if it’s one of those “had to be there moments” – maybe it is, but for shit’s sake I know that I was sitting in a restaurant and noticed that the fucking waiters were coming over to sing me Happy Birthday so everyone else can hear, it would make my fucking day to see one of them bite it and faceplant into what was supposed to be my dessert. Awesome.
